MINT BROTHERS
™
For those about to rock, I salute you! Welcome stellar metal heads and bodacious Bettys. I made this website to prove to my brother that I’m not a total freakazoid, crap-grabber and that metal does rule even though my bro Drew rolls his jeans and is now a lame-o college preppie fart-knocker (If anyone asks, Stellar said that)
CHECK IT OUT DWEEB
TUNEAGE
Choice!
Hot!
These albums are so choice. I have them all on tape but I want them on CD because the last time I swiped a tape from Drew’s room the tape got caught in the boombox so I had to do the pencil trick to unwind it then re-wind it back up. One time I tried to make a mix tape with all of the tapes but mom totally ruined it when she yelled for me to come set the dinner table.
BROS
Radical
This is Johnny "Radical" Radack. He once kissed a betty for 62 seconds. He’s pretty mint. He said that I shouldn’t let my mom use a bowl to cut my hair no more and that I should use the motto "business in the front party in the back.” He successfully grew a mullet on his pet ferret.
Brody
Brody is a total burnout that’s always looking for salamanders in our window wells. He got sent up the river to juvey cuz my mom’s boyfriend caught him putting a cherry bomb in our mailbox. Brody does know how to acid wash his own jeans though.
Stellar
We call him "Stellar" cuz he’s so not – he’s a total poser and dweebazoid. I only put him on the website cuz he taught me how to make friendship pins. He and I are supposed to have a break-off on Halloween night. I’m kinda worried though cuz that goober
can do shoulder rolls.
Frog
Frog is my best friend even
though he says I’m not his. This one time we made nunchucks and a chinese star in shop class. Mom said I can’t hang with him no more but I still do. I think he stole a button off my jean jacket with the frilly things on the arms.
RADICAL DRUMSTICK COLLECTION
I bought these along with some chezzer black light posters at that mint store in the mall. I tell everyone that I got them from a rad band, but I can’t remember which one cuz I am tangled in my own web of dirty lies.
I traded Johnny "Radical" these for a musty old pair of red and white checkered slip-ons –sucker! These sticks are super light, I can twirl them around on my fingers 6 and 1/2 rotations without dropping them.
I got this one at the Metal Khaos concert in Downtown Cottage Grove. I was trying to talk to some bettys when it smoked me right in the skull. My buddy Brody grabbed it and gave it to me as kind of a purple heart medal.
These are Drew’s. Don’t tell him that I took this picture, he’d totally freak on me and give me another power weggie. I don’t know where he got these cuz the night of the rock reunion show he was locked in his room with the babysitter.
TASTY EXTRAS
My mom took this picture when Drew came back from college. Every time I ask my bro why he wears 2 shirts he sits on my chest and strings out a big loogie over my face. It’s totally weak that he’s a preppy now but he says its trippendicular. My hair looks so boss in this picture but now I’m thinking about growing a tail.
"MINT" BROTHERS
RIGHTEOUS WHEELS
My Bro’s car is the Camaro and Stu Mager has the Tranny. He said the bird on the hood is so choice and cherry it’s chezzer. Mom said I can’t ride in any car but sometimes I pay him $2 and he lets me put my 10 speed in his trunk. Karl Kozlowski’s totally tricked out totally boss Fiero will soon be mine cuz I mow Mr. Weston’s lawn every Saturday and he gives me 8 bucks. But I also might buy the El Camino cuz then I could put my 10 speed in the back.
Choice!
1983 Trans Am
1985 Fiero
El Camino
SITES
This is the most mintlicious site cuz they always have the awesomest choice classic metal CDs and stereo systems. Plus me and Johnny Radical always skip 3rd hour pre-algebra and go to the store and play video games.
(Crap I hope Mr. Maly doesn’t read this, here's his picture from the yearbook.)
mintbrothers ©2020